Its that time of year again.
The ugly subject of money raises its head, and alas I have returned to blighty to earn some dosh, accompanied this time by she who must be obeyed.
My first job from the agency has been drivers mate for a well known company who deliver and install white goods for a well known high street electrical retailer.
Get the impression that I am going to slag them off yet!
Well I am.
This company are the keepers of The National Collection of Miserable Old Men.
I have never met such humourless miserable old gits in my life, but to find so many gathered under one roof is just an impossible coincidence. The only explanation is that they were collected under one roof for some evil purpose, yet to be revealed to us by some wailing hermit from Uddersfax or somewhere really hilly and cavy!
I and the miserable old git of the day, have been mostly delivering and not installing plasma TVs.
Why ‘Not Installing’?
Well the salesperson at that well known high street electrical store has not explained the ‘ins and outs’ of wall-mounted plasma and LCD TVs. People who buy them and want them wall-mounted have certain expectations, and so you would think, would the salesperson ; and having a measure of empathy mention the ‘ins and outs’.
Not on your Nelly!
My image of this technology I must admit, comes entirely from Star Trek. So let’s imagine that Captain Kirk has ordered a wall-mounted screen from that well known high street store.
SPOCK : “Captain a Clingon battle-cruiser has just de-cloaked “
KIRK : “Shields and on-screen”
KIRK : “On-screen”
KIRK : “ON-SCREEN”
KIRK : ” I thought you said it had de-cloaked Spock; yet I cannot see anything”
SPOCK : ” Affirmative Captain, that well known high street electrical retailer sent round that well known company that installs electrical goods and installed the screen you see before you”
KIRK : ” So why can I not see anything?”
SCOTTY : The installation chappy mounted the screen Captain and everything was just fine until he tried to plug it in”.
KIRK : ” I don’t understand Scotty”
SCOTTY : “Well its like this Captain, the power lead just hung down from the screen and was too short to reach the socket where we used to have the telly in the corner of the bridge”
SCOTTY GRIMACES ” It was just So, So un-modern Captain”
Yes this is the reality for most households who have not been told to make provision for power supplies.
A black lead hanging down ! Or should I say if you spent £1500 smacker-roonies or more
‘A f****** BLACK LEAD HANGING DOWN’
Luckily for the customer the installation guys point this out to the client before it is mounted on the wall, and usually agree not to mount the screen. I wonder if this constantly failing to do what they set out to do; that day, is what turns them into miserable old sods.
On the bases that zero job satisfaction will do that to anyone.
I never thought about this! And you’re right – a black cable hanging down the wall is not part of most people’s idea of good taste. Sorry you have to work again for a while – it is, as Oscar remarked, the curse of the drinking class.
Reminds me of the time I worked with a group of ‘jobsworth’ van drivers who spent most of the day dreaming up excuses as to why they had not made most of their deliveries instead of just getting on with the job. … “Can’t do that guv, too many stairs, we only do ground floors”. etc.